I was so miserable with him, and I never even realized it. Ren: After Henry, I can’t see getting serious with someone again. Ren: I don’t think that’s what I said, although… You’re looking for someone to bend you over and rail you. Unless you want to go in there and grab your dildo and make it even more weird, there’s nothing you can do about it at this point. I am actually dead right now.ĭan: Ok, I’m sorry.
People on the train are giving me the stink eye, but I don’t even care. Between our hookup, my state of undress, and the dildo, there’s no way he’s coming backĭan: I am literally crying I’m laughing so hard.
Ren: This really isn’t as funny as you think it is. Which is exactly what I used it for around three in the morning before collapsing into bed and falling asleep, trusting my damned alarm to wake me up in the morning.ĭaniel sends that god damned laughing gif again, and I want to reach through the phone and strangle him. I didn’t just leave it sitting on the counter either, that motherfucker is suction cupped to the wall, right at the perfect height to fuck myself. Ren: Yeah but my dildo is-OH FUCK! I just realized my dildo is in the bathroom!!!!!Īll the blood drains from my face. But now that he’s gone, I have to admit, my life is a hell of a lot more peaceful. After five years together, there were so many little things I let slide or chalked up to living with another person. I could never figure out why he gave a shit how I took my coffee. I sigh and take a sip of my coffee, enjoying the way it scalds my tongue, bitterness filling my mouth. Ren: Anyway, he looked kind of weirded out, so I’m thinking a repeat is NOT in the cardsĭan: Well, there are plenty more cocks in the sea It’s best to pretend that exact same thought didn’t cross my mind less than five minutes ago. That’s the same dude you kissed months ago, right?! You did say he was incredible in bed, maybe this is like a sign from god or something that you should let him fuck you again.ĭan: He’s a contractor if porn has taught me anything, it’s that if you ask him to check your pipes, you’ll end up getting gang banged by him and like three other hot dudes. He sends the laughing gif again, and I respond with one of someone giving the finger.ĭan: Oh my god, that’s too funny. Ren: The bar hookup from last month! There he was all tall and gorgeous just standing on my front porch like he owned the place, and I had clearly just rolled out of bed like an idiot.
I answered the door practically naked, and you’ll NEVER guess who the contractor was An Excerpt from Caulky Dan: He lives! So, is the contractor there?
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